Groan, chuckle, repeat
1. Why did the sandwich go to the doctor? It was feeling crumby.
2. I asked the librarian if they had any books on sandwiches. She said, "They're under deli-cious."
3. Two sandwiches walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
4. What do you call a sandwich that can sing? An elvis.
5. Why did the bread break up with the butter? It found someone with better spread.
6. I just invented a sandwich made entirely out of dad jokes. It was hard to swallow.
7. What's a vampire's favorite sandwich? A BLT, heavy on the B, hold the LT.
8. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug and made me a sandwich.
9. Why don't sandwiches ever get tired? Because they always loaf around.
10. A man walks into a deli and orders "a sandwich with everything." The deli owner brings him a sandwich containing the entire universe. The man eats it. The cosmos ends. He tips poorly.
11. What do you call a sandwich made by a horse? A neigh-bor's lunch.
12. I tried to make a sandwich with self-rising flour bread. It was too high-maintenance.
13. Why did the cucumber call a lawyer? It got into a pickle on a sandwich.
14. What's the difference between a sandwich and a hot dog? Approximately three years of internet arguments.
15. My friend told me his favorite sandwich is a paradox. I asked him to describe it. He said he couldn't.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the sandwich dressing.
17. Knock knock. Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, we're making sandwiches.
18. I named my sourdough starter "Clint Yeastwood." He makes my day.
19. What did the bread say to the knife? You're cutting me deep.
20. What's the most popular sandwich in space? A launch meat.
21. I went to a restaurant called "Karma." They didn't have a menu, you just got what you deserved. I got a tuna sandwich.
22. Why did the deli worker quit? He just couldn't cut the mustard.
23. What do you call a sandwich that gives advice? A know-it-all-pastrami.
24. A grilled cheese walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You look melted." The grilled cheese says, "You should see the panini."
25. What did one slice of bread say to the other? We make a great pair. Don't loaf around.